ladymckee's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- - I've been helping mom get the house ready to sell. I've gotten the new hardware put on the front door which included the kick plate, dead bolt and door knob. Then I helped put up two lights for the exterior of the house. I'm getting frustrated with the paper work Josh supposedly sent 1 1/2 weeks ago. Found out today that he hasn't sent it out yet, heh. Not that I want to go through with this shit... However its fucking making me nervous and antsy...Makes me have conflicting feelings on why he hasn't sent them yet... I know its hard on him... I just wish it could be over with, so that maybe I will get it in my head when its done, that its actually over heh ...when will I stop missing him?!?!?! I keep having these fucking dreams of us living our life together, which I never had to this extent when living with him. I think about him when I get up, think about him when I go to bed and I even think about him when I sleep... I keep thinking about how he was laying next to me... He did laugh a couple of times and I keep picturing his smile and how his hand felt in mine... I remember now when he woke up a couple of times to comfort me how his voice sounded, and I don't remember it being as lost as I thought it was... Maybe I was angry after he left for not understanding me and thats why I felt like he wasn't here... Or maybe I'm just trying to crab onto what ever memories I have of him making me feel loved... heh 7:14 p.m. - Monday, Jun. 09, 2008 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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